Mode of Depression
Why can't I be what I really wanna be? Why are some things predestined? No matter how much you try to change it, it will be the same. Why are some things out of my control? I didnt want it this way. It is just fucking unfair. I want so much more out of this life. I dont want my life to be so misearable. I dont want to keep trying to feel good, I want to feel good. Feel good about my life, about who I am, about how I look, about the air I breathe the minute I wake up to the minute I fall asleep. You know something is really wrong when you can't bear to see yourself as a normal human being. I just want to be normal like everyone else but I am not. I just want to fit in but somehow I am always convinced or made to feel that I will always be odd, the one in the corner, the one in the shadows, the pathetic one maybe. I try my best but sometimes life just fuck back at me. Sometimes I deceive myself just to make life more bearable. But I have too much to lose to throw this life away-my friends, family and my dreams."Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then no more."
-Macbeth
But my time on this stage is yet to be up. I am still finding my audience and applause.
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