Love & Other Drugs
"You need someone to take care of you. Everybody does." - Jamie RandallDon't we all do? Having been alone for all my life, it gets unbearably lonely sometimes. You just want someone to be there for you, to see you beyond the superficial, and to accept and appreciate you for whoever/whatever you truly are inside, or simply be interested in how your day was...
(I thank the love from my family for keeping my sane)
I used to think that I can get by alone, for the rest of my life, till I grow old and my hair turns white. I still have decades ahead of me to sort myself out... But a life trigger changed everything - the realization that my hair may never get to turn white... the realization that I may not have the luxury of growing old... the realization that every moment that I live & every breath that I take could be the last.. the realization that I don't want to die alone, without having loved and being loved back at least once in my life... how pathetic... Like Jamie, I've never said "I love you" to anyone... and like Maggie, I have no belief that I can promise a relationship that's fair for the other party. And worst of all, I believe that no one will ever love me... for all the insecurities and problems that I have. This "I'm unworthy" shit is slowly killing me inside.
Romantic, heartwarming, hopeful... perhaps that's how I would describe "Love & Other Drugs". But it's just a Hollywood fairy tale to me. Come on, that doesn't happen in real life... unless you look like Jake Gyllenhall.
Perhaps that's what I love about movies - for that 2hrs of my life, I can forget who I am and lose myself in the made-up characters on screen. For that 2 hrs, I can make-believe, I can role-play. I can tell myself - "yes, that's me". For that 2 hrs, I can be handsome and beautiful.
But when the movie is over, it leaves you high and dry. It leaves you sadder than you've ever been, but you want to do it again. It's a drug that's hard to quit, keeps you sane and drives you crazy at the same time.
