一场梦
昨晚, 我做了一场奇怪的梦.
我梦见我在一个仿佛中国边疆或者是内蒙古的地方. 好多亲戚朋友都出现在这个梦的世界里. 我们大家都在一间房间里. 房间里有位大姐. 这位大姐先后端出了几道菜. 她首先端出了一盘生的肉燥. 这道菜吃起来有点像日本生鱼片的味道. 接着, 她端出了另一道菜. 她解释说这道菜叫做"米糕". 这道菜的长相就和年糕一样,一样是褐色的. 最后, 她端出了一道她解释说是当地小吃的菜. 这道菜装在盒子里. 盒子一打开,里头装的居然是"美国香肠"-热狗. 大姐解释说这热狗需要乘冷吃, 才能吃出味道. 这热狗吃起竟然有非常浓的酒味. 这酒味配上这冷冷的肉味, 非常特别. 后来, 不知何故, 我就醒了. 梦也结束了.
这场梦最奇妙的地方就是, 我既然能在梦里吃出食物的味道. 在此时此刻, 我还深深的记得那些味道. 我想, 我可能是中邪了.
Everybody's Changing(Leaving)
"I'm leaving on a jet plane, who knows when I'll be back again."
Sent off a friend yesterday. He is going to study in Imperial College under a scholarship. The whole bunch of guys were there to send him off. This is a friend that I respect alot. He is always so sure of himself, so confident. You always feel that everything is in place when he is around. Everything is under control. He was always the one organizing the gatherings and binding the gang together. He always seem to know exactly what he wants out of his life, what he wants to do and almost certainly knows how to do them. I wish I have that confidence about myself and that capability to go along with it. Now that he is gone, I can only guess that the gang will start drifting apart, especially when everybody gets more engrossed in their own lifes. I wish him all the best for the great future that lies ahead of him.
Friends are leaving or have left the country for their studies. I am stuck here on "the place where I belong...". Getting sick of Uni life. The same routine every semester, every week and everyday. It feels like going through the 9th season of Survivor. Tedious, boring. It gets worse when you see your friends leaving you. You feel empty, lost, lonely, forgotten, stuck............... The fear that the friendship will never be the same again and maybe be forgotten. I am becoming desensitized. I no longer feel as much, or react as much as I use to. I am becoming numb to things happening around me. Zombified. Just going through the cycle that everyone else has gone through- the way to survive in this society, they will tell you. A friend once told me:"You are a very calm person." Its just that I can be bothered to or can't react to anything anymore.
After the sending off, loneliness crept into me. Then I heard the song "Together Again" by Janet Jackson. The image started to reappear in my mind. I recall the day that she danced to the song in front of the school. The tracks, the dance moves, the noise around me, even the colours came back to me. It made this song special to me. I know we will always only just be friends and I treat her only as a friend now. But I wished we could have been friends that spoke heart to heart but she already has someone to speak her heart out to. I will always be that someone's shadow, but maybe that is good enough. But all that doesn't matter anymore, now that time has passed and she has gone overseas to study and things are not what it used to be.
Everywhere I go, every smile I see, I know you are there smiling back at me.
Dancing in moonlight, I know you are free, cause I can see your star, shining down on me
With the lyrics ringing in my head, I feel younger already..........
Meet my girlfriend. Not at her finest hour but still trying her best to look gorgeous. Am I lucky or what?
Not yet (part1)
Britney Spears-Not a girl, not yet a woman
- Not single, not yet officially married.
- Not a virgin, not yet a whore.
Madonna- Simply not a virgin.
Marilyn Manson- Not a man, not yet an alien.
Jolin's (new) breasts- Not small, not yet Cup G.
A-ya's breasts- Not big, not yet cup 凹
Stefanie Sun's face- Not smooth, not yet moon crater.
Days of our lives- Not forever, not quite going to end in the next 50 years.
Prince- Not prince, not yet artiste formally known as Prince, not yet the Artiste. (Somebody help me here.)
Tanjong Pagar railway- Not Singaporean but Malaysian, but not quite in Malaysia but in Singapore?
Newater- Not SHit, not yet water.
Mariah Carey's super high squeals- not yet impossible for the human ear, not yet able to attract dogs.
5566- not 4466, not yet 5566.
Jerry from Singapore Idol- not a good singer, not yet eliminated.
Michael Jackson- Not black, not yet white.
*This blog is born out of pure boredom and should not be taken seriously. No offence pls.
You can never compete with something in the past, with memory. We love what we can't have. And we can't have what we love.
-Wong Kar Wai
